I hid in the library for the last few zodiacs. For one thing, I wanted to finish my studies with Ledarla, the fifth ethereal trainer. I did that and I am now ready to begin my studies with Leradla, the sixth, and supposedly the last, of the ethereal trainers. And the other reason I hid in the library was that I wanted some time to think about my decision to leave the Winds of Dawn clan...
Now I wonder what I should do. Nunul told me that he thought I was meant to be in the Red Quill clan, that it was the clan he saw me as naturally suited to be in. Altir seemed to agree with him, so I should look into it. Maybe they would welcome me? I know some people in RQ and I must say I like them a lot. Babajaga, Lilly, and Xantcha are all in RQ for instance.
Of course they might not be interested in a simple journeyman mystic like me. What I mean is that I feel as though all of the RQ members are well established exiles, all quite proficient in their respective fields. Every one of them seem to be 4th circle healers or 6th circle fighters. What would they need with a mystic just recently promoted to JM? Yet maybe they would welcome me, maybe some of them noticed me. Babajaga accepted me in PTF, so of course she knows me, but I don't know what she thinks of me.
I was happy to see so many people who wished me good luck on my path after I left WoD. I was even more surprised by an offer by Sor to join the Sun Dragon Clan. I am very honored to be considered for such a prestigious clan. Both SDC and RQ are clans I always thought would be out of my league, because they are both prestigious clans and because of what I mentioned about their members being so competent and respected members of Puddleby. I have to re-adjust my way of thinking and look into what options are open to me with an open mind. I always find it easier to be objective when others are concerned, when I consider myself I find it hard to keep an open mind. But I try, and I will for this too.
What about the option is to remain clanless? Many exiles chose this path and are quite happy with it. It is not for me though. I need to be part of a group, I feel that in my bones. I need people around me, people to talk to and to share things with. I am a quiet person, and a shy person too, so you might think of me as a loner, but it's quite the opposite. Now that most of the tasks my profession require me to do alone are done, I find that I hate being alone more than anything else.
I will not rush into anything though. I will wait and consider my options. I will see if I feel I can be welcomed and be part of a group that will appreciate me and make me feel worthwhile.
So while I ponder these questions I continue my studies. I just finished training with Ledarla, which teaches 50 lessons, as we expected, and I am now ready to visit Leradla in Cimmbrion's garden maze to train with him (her? it?). While I wait for the opportunity to see the sixth teacher I am working on becoming a bit more proficient with my skristal. I am starting to be able to locate with some success, although not as well as most of my colleagues of course.
I have now 150 lessons in ethereal knowledge, and if Leradla teaches 60 lessons as we expect, I'll have 210 lessons when I am done with this phase of ether training. I expect that this knowledge is a foundation for further studies and I wonder if the Brions will give us access to other trainers, or maybe other tools? I certainly hope so. "Patience and perseverance" as my mentor would tell be so many times :-)
On another subject, I learned that Himitsu was promoted to Journeywoman! I am very proud of her and I think she earned it. I think her initiative of creating the Eyes of Puddleby is great and she is a fine mystic. I am very happy for her. Congrats Himi!
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